Relationship Therapy

What is relationship/couples therapy?

Relationship therapy is a combination of talking and behavioural therapy that provides a couple with structured space in which to constructively explore challenges and find ways together to move beyond these.

The first session or two will be an evaluation period in which I'll aim to build a greater understanding of your relationship dynamic by asking about your history as a couple and how long the issues you're experiencing have been present. This initial period is for me to get a clearer picture of the difficulties which have brought you to therapy, how therapy can best help your relationship, and what your hopes are from therapy.

How do you know if you need relationship/couples/ marriage counselling?

Only you can know the answer to this question, but often clients come to me because they are experiencing feelings of being stuck, pressurised, angry or resentful. That said, I often have clients who feel that their relationship is strong but they are looking for ways to enhance their communication and deepen their intimate bond.

What type of issues can Relationship Therapy help with?

Communication

Often there are dysfunctional methods of communication that need to be unlearned in therapy. We may need to learn new communication techniques, which foster honest and open dialogue. Sometimes we come to therapy because we need to talk to our partner about something that is incredibly difficult or sensitive and the safety and holding of the therapist can enable the conversation to take place.

Conflict

Some couples are caught in a cycle of arguing and fighting over the same unresolved issues, be they small sources of conflict or significant road blocks in the relationship that you need support unpacking. Often there are wounds that need attending to, or there is a long history of unmet needs and unspoken hurts.

Infidelity

A physical or emotional infidelity can cause material rupture to the relationship which may require support to either rebuild, or facilitation to navigate an ending. Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity requires significant hard work and courage from both parties. Honest dialogue, introspection, and taking responsibility for the individual part played in the relationship and rupture, is key. For many couples post-infidelity, the next chapter of their relationship is one of greater transparency, intimacy and understanding.

Sexual dissatisfaction

Whether that be a sexless relationship and one partner is unhappy; or a mismatch in sexual desire, frequency or quality is causing conflict; or sex has become domestic and mundane and it needs a new passion or fire; or perhaps sex is difficult because of age, disability, illness or a chronic medical condition; or perhaps a couple wish to experiment with other forms of sexual expression or open up their relationship and try ethical non-monogamy.

Attachment Misalignment

Often one person feels that their partner is distant, dismissive and avoidant, whilst the other is perceived as anxious, needy and clingy; both are caught in a cycle of being chased for greater intimacy and withdrawing to maintain space from ones partner. Issues of jealousy and lack of trust are often at play in this dynamic.

Significant Life Events - Fertility, Marriage, Relocation, etc.

All of which are, in their own right, events that cause stress, anxiety, fear, or loss, often leading us to retreat into ourselves and lose each other. Being counselled through difficult life stages can be extremely helpful and rewarding.